i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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