Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
