if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
