I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
