Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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