You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
did i just pee glitter
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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