just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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