i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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