did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
