remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
