I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
