I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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