feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize