I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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