My nipple is on Facebook.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
