K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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