And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
