Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
