dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
