He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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