She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
