We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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