Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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