There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
