Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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