The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
