Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
