That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have tasted many bathrooms
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
