I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
