I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
