Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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