Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
