i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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