question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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