Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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