She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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