i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
