I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
