The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
