We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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