Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
