Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
