Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
