I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i just had sex bonerless
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
