Jerry, you need to find god
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
