She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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