he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Randomize
