is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
