Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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