she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
