Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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