dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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