dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
