Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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