no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
