Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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