you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
