If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
