whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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