he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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