What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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