you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize