I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
operation have a gay friend backfired
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
