my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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