so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I got inside last night via doggy door
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
