I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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