let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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