hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
